That feeling after sex – what is that? It feels just like love. I think we often confuse it for love.
I noticed this because I was struck by a rush of the most wonderful feeling after. But I don’t Iove the person I’m with. I have a ton of affection for him and he makes me feel great. In some ways. In other ways, we don’t have the kind of connection I’d like. And I know this relationship is for a season. There was also a time when I slept with someone I just met for the first time. I was fresh after a divorce and I wasn’t anywhere nearly ready for a relationship, so we were trying to explore a string free arrangement. I had just met him from an app – no emotional involvement at all. But we had some connection. And despite not knowing him, and not having had much time to develop physical comfort and rhythm, I was flooded by good feelings after. It blew my mind. I thought it was just hormones. I was trying to give it a purely chemical explanation. But the chemicals translate to feelings. And of course I’ve had times when I didn’t feel so great after sex. Sex with someone with whom I wasn’t connected enough, even sex with someone I loved, when the energy wasn’t right for some reason.
So I was thinking – what is that feeling that feels like love for the person that I’m on top of?
I think it is love – love for myself or the universe. And if that’s too woo woo for you, then let’s call it contentment.
So, if sex by itself (not just penetration, but not necessarily with commitment and history and knowing each other’s pets) can give us this, why feel bad about it? It’s not for everyone and not with anyone. But there’s a place.
