At night my head has been … Worrying the costs of the trip. Particularly weird cause I forgot that I got the breakfast package and I knew we’d be spending money on food. So this is almost a bonus. Yet my mind is worrying on it. Not about it. It’s like it is mindlessly touching and scratching a scab. It wants to worry, so it’s just picking a thing to worry on. I’m glad I figured it out. It’s similar to the shame. The shame knows I should feel like a shit person, so it scans around for a reason. And any reason will do . The worry seems the same. Just looking for something – object A. If that object is gone, it’ll find another there one.
I see you, Worry. I see you. I feel you. You’re in my stomach. Upper chest. I’m prepared for this trip. I’m prepared for the cost. I’m ok with anything unexpected that comes up. It will not be catastrophic. I accept the risks. It’s ok. What if we have a good time? Is that allowed?
